he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
