I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
