why didn't you poke me back
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
4 words: hood of his car
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
