So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
