He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
