Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
