I got chris browned last night
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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