You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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