I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
