just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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