It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
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I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
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We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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