did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
me + whiskey = a bad person
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You were trust falling into bushes
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
