i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
