fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
