I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize