the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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