No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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