do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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