She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
high people should be assigned attendants
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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