at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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