i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
