I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
