I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
