We won't sleep together?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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