i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
