Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
