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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Why?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.

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• (925): View more from California

  Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  So like, boobs.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  are you really going to start every conversation like that?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.

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• (475): View more from Connecticut

  I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Where the hell are you

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