How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
