in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
