Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
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Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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