you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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