Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
