Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
