Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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