dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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