another moral hangover. fuck.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
