I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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