Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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