I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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