OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
