He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
