nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Life is so much better after having sex.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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