dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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