yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
