She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
