Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
