Duck Duck Cougar?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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