bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
