Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
