I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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