It was confusing and full of hummus
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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