well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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