I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
