suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
whose parrot is this?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
