This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
