I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
