Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
