i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
