im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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