Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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