drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
