Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
