Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
What drink are we having for lunch?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
