the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
