She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
